What Truth are we speaking?

Ephesians 4:15
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

I’ve been putting some thought into this scripture lately and wondering: what does it mean to speak the truth in love? Churches, in general, interpret this scripture to mean that on an individual basis it’s okay to point out someone’s sins. It’s okay, as long as you’re lovingly telling them how screwed up they are!

This teaching isn’t even close to Biblical truth. Anytime we use scripture out of context we run the risk of inserting our humanness into it. In this letter to the Ephesians, written by Paul, he isn’t writing about how Jonny is a raging alcoholic, or Martha is cheating on Bill and someone needs to tell her. He was writing to the church in order to keep them on track from a doctrinal standpoint. He was warning them about false doctrines and deceitful plotting by the enemy who is constantly trying to infiltrate the church. This wasn’t an all-inclusive “okay” to call out a brother or sister in Christ because they are caught up in a sin or sinful scenario.

I look at it this way; no matter how “lovingly” you tell someone that they are doing something wrong, it cuts and stings them. I don’t care who you are or how you said it, it’s going to hurt and it’s going to leave a mark. Taking it upon ourselves to point out others’ flaws would be contrary to the teaching that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. (Romans 8:1)

This scripture wasn’t written for people to use in relationships as a “gotcha”. It was written to keep the church body on the right path; that is, speaking the Truth in love. This involves teaching the Gospel of Christ’s grace in a loving and caring manner; it’s not just with love towards the body, but with true love and adoration for the Creator, for God. Paul was instructing the church to teach Jesus with love for others and for God.

When Jesus spoke in Matthew 7, He said don’t judge. He said that you have no right to point out another person’s flaws when you are filled with flaws. The only One who has any right to judge or correct behavior is the Creator, the sinless Lamb, Jesus the Christ. As evidenced by His own teachings, Jesus didn’t come to condemn but to save. (John 3:17) As evidenced by His own actions, He wasn’t here to tell people their sins, but to administer grace. (John 8:11) So why would we assume that Paul has given us authority to condemn, so long as it’s lovingly? He hasn’t! He’s instructed the church to continue teaching the grace and forgiveness found through Jesus Christ. He’s instructed the church to stay true to the simplicity of Christ, and not get led astray by false doctrine, religious rules, or crafty speakers.

When a brother or sister is caught up in sin, we aren’t authorized to “lovingly” tell them to cut it out; we are simply authorized to tell them the Truth in love. We are to speak Jesus back into their lives with love. (Walk in the Spirit -that is Jesus- and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. Galatians 5:16) Once Christ is back at the center of their lives, the sin will stop. It has to, because the Bible says it will! “...you SHALL not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” There’s no choice. Christ’s influence and His influence alone will lead you away from sin.